In the past Mother's Day was a very difficult day for me. I didn't have a Mom to celebrate, and always felt so inadequate. But today was different.
I had a conversation with Heidi the other day where she told me about the talk she was asked to give on Mother's Day. (Troy is very lucky to be married to her... he had asked her to give the talk.) I'd never really thought about her interesting experience with her 3 mothers. Just let me say, that it got me thinking about being a mom.
As with most women, parts of mothering were difficult for me. The biggest challenge was to just enjoy my children. As I watch my own daughters mother, I realize they are so much better at it than I was. I was (and am) so impatient! I so wish I had taken more time to play with them. I wish I had been better at embracing each child's uniqueness. I mostly wish I had been more cheerful. The worst day of the year was Mother's day where I just wanted to go hibernate somewhere.
Now I understand how mean that was to my kids. THEY WERE KIDS!!! They just wanted to be loved by mom. I get it now. I hope they forgive me.
On the plus side, my kids turned out great, despite my failings! They are loving, and generous, and thoughtful, and still treat me like I did a great job mothering. They are good spouses, and parents, and children. I'm so lucky to have been blessed with them in my life. Their examples teach me so much more than I ever taught them.
So this Mother's day, I was able to sit back and reflect, enjoy a quiet day, feel the love from the kids and Randy and know that I am good enough. Not perfect, but good enough. My kids still love me even though I didn't make it easy at times. I love being their mom, and the grammy of their kids. I'm glad I could be a stay at home mom, with fruit ready for them when they came home from school, and art projects everywhere, and games to attend and yell at. I'm glad they weren't too embarrasses to bring their friends home, and they made pretty good choices growing up. I'm glad they wanted to experience the joys of mothering- that their mother gave them enough to know that it is the greatest blessing in life to be a mother!
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About Me
- Mom
- My husband and I are empty nesters to three pretty swell kids. We've been married for thirty two years. We also have 4 grandsons, one granddaughter (and 3 granddogs as well). I love living by the beach, reading, being with my family and friends.
3 comments:
thanks mom. i loved reading this. you really were (and are) a great mom - obviously you did something right to get some seriously amazing kids :)
Oh woman I hear ya. I use to just hate Mothers Day. Thank goodness for the circle of life. I can finally enjoy it as I see what great Moms my own daughters have become. I still have a twinge of sadness though having a daughter that hasn't had the opportunity to be a Mom. Oh well life was meant to be a test, right? By the way you are a great MOM!
You are awesome Syndea. You make an amazing COUSIN too!
mand
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